2016, thank you.

Good day people!

I hope everyone is in the pink as I always am (not really). Anyways, 2016 will end in just few hours from now. Currently, my computer clock shows 7.09pm which means in less than 5 hours we will not meet 2016 forever. I have not write in English that much ever since I enrolled myself in MJHEP except for the English subject (obviously), my blog which I have rarely write due to tight schedules and also most of the tweets. Also, I left English novels for like almost 8 months or to be precise ever since I enrolled myself in MJHEP so excuse my English, people. Bear with me okay? The other day, I tried to reread one of my English novels but after few pages I stopped. I closed the book and wondered how I actually have finished this book in the first place. Funny, once upon a time which is actually around this year during my long holiday period, 300++ pages of English novel is an easy task for me to finish reading it. To the extreme that I can actually finish reading one English novel within 24 hours. Yup, that’s just show how anticipated I am to the books. But now, not so much anymore. The momentum isn’t there anymore. Lost in the forest of struggling to master in Japanese.

2016 has teach me a lot. Life lesson, the art of giving, the art of having actual faith and the beauty of friendship(which I didn’t believe before). MJHEP is my actual turning point. I am more cheerful(I guess), I laughed a lot(way more than before) and most importantly, I learnt to appreciate people who come into my life, be it whether they come to me for some reasons or they just simply come to me because they like me and wants to be friend with me.

I wish I could elaborate more and more just how much this year is a blissful year for me but I’m afraid if I do it, I couldn’t post this blog post before 2017 so I’m just gonna make this short, simple and sweet. In just a year, I experienced a lot of things. My life turned into an actual roller coaster. I used to be that one of the bright kids in my school years. As I entered MJHEP, I realized that it is just really difficult to keep up the pace. Just no matter how hard I go, how much energy and effort I put to be the best among the best, I fail to be what I had used to be, the best kid. I lost it. I am no longer the best, I am no longer the outstanding kid. It seems like I lost my old self, the person I used to be. I was always anxious of my results, it is just never enough. I wondered why I couldn’t be the highest no matter how hard I struggled. I rarely fail or should I say I had never failed throughout my high school year. Haha, I just checked and I confirmed that I had never fail throughout my high school year. I did get the worst mark during my high school year but not to the point where I actually fail the subject. This year alone, I failed few times. In MJHEP, we have a Japanese confirmation test or we called it Kakunin Test. Kakunin test is divided into few sections:

Example:

Kanji	Vocab	Grammar	Listening	Reading	Total
75.9%	90.0%	67.3%	58.9%	83.6%	77.9%

Green: 90 and above

White: 89-70

Yellow: 69-60

Red: 59 and below

So far, I had experienced fail in all sections but not all at once. For example, there are times when I fail Kanji section. The other time I fail Vocab section. If I don’t fail vocab or Kanji, it will be either listening or reading that comes into the picture. It is very stressful when everything is being graded and colored. I hate red and yellow the most because other than it indicates your mark, it also indicates quiz(yellow) and also Kakunin test(red) in your timetable. When there is quiz on that period, it will be colored yellow in your timetable and the same thing goes to Kakunin Test.

Despite all this, I learnt a few valuable life lesson. Firstly, I learnt to understand the feeling of people who strive to their limits and they still could not achieve what they want. I had never really understand those feeling because before this, everything comes so easy to me. If I study, my result will be good. If I don’t, my result will be bad. Simple. But there’s more, I had learnt.  There are people who strive all out but still cannot get what they want and I am not alone struggling. Does that mean we have to just simply give up? The answer is no. I considered myself as a very spiritual person and I have become more spiritual due to this... incidents? moments? let's just go with life experience since it sounds much better. At least, that's what I thought so. I came to more believe that if I don’t get something although I had put my very best, that’s fine. It’s either [Lord wants me to strive more or He wants to replace something that is much better in return to something that I didn’t get or it is just simply better if I don’t get it.] There are things that we have really wanted but it is actually not good for us right? Once you have hold on to this tightly, you’ll be more at peace.There are things that are just simply beyond our power and strength. That is when God came into the picture. He gives and takes readily. I admit, it’s hard to hold on to these words, belief, whatever you called it. We are human no matter what. You’ll get sad, angry, and anxious if you fail to get something that you dearly want. Just don’t get too carried away. You are allowed to fail, you are allowed to feel sad, and you are allowed to break down once a while. Those will make you a better and tougher person in the future. Trust me. Experience is the best teacher.

Next thing that I have learnt is, it is okay to settle for less sometimes. Life is not just about what color you get on the result paper or how better you are than your friend in the test. It’s good to compete within friends because it keeps you motivated and energetic but everything that is too much is a poison that will poison you back eventually. Life is more than just getting good results, get a high-paid job and get a big cars, house,etc. Life is also about appreciating the nature, the people around you and finding peace within yourself. We only live once in this so called beautiful and yet corrupted world. Everything has its own good sides and bad sides. It’s just the way you see it. It’s either you want to see it as a bad thing or you take a good thing out of the bad thing. Everything happens for a reason. We live for reasons and we will die for reasons as well.

With that being said, I would like end my writing now. I wish to continue more because there’s a lot more thing that I have and want to say but I’m afraid if I get too carried away again which I actually did while writing this post.

2016,

Rest in peace.

Thank you for everything.

Bye.