2016, thank you.

Good day people!

I hope everyone is in the pink as I always am (not really). Anyways, 2016 will end in just few hours from now. Currently, my computer clock shows 7.09pm which means in less than 5 hours we will not meet 2016 forever. I have not write in English that much ever since I enrolled myself in MJHEP except for the English subject (obviously), my blog which I have rarely write due to tight schedules and also most of the tweets. Also, I left English novels for like almost 8 months or to be precise ever since I enrolled myself in MJHEP so excuse my English, people. Bear with me okay? The other day, I tried to reread one of my English novels but after few pages I stopped. I closed the book and wondered how I actually have finished this book in the first place. Funny, once upon a time which is actually around this year during my long holiday period, 300++ pages of English novel is an easy task for me to finish reading it. To the extreme that I can actually finish reading one English novel within 24 hours. Yup, that’s just show how anticipated I am to the books. But now, not so much anymore. The momentum isn’t there anymore. Lost in the forest of struggling to master in Japanese.

2016 has teach me a lot. Life lesson, the art of giving, the art of having actual faith and the beauty of friendship(which I didn’t believe before). MJHEP is my actual turning point. I am more cheerful(I guess), I laughed a lot(way more than before) and most importantly, I learnt to appreciate people who come into my life, be it whether they come to me for some reasons or they just simply come to me because they like me and wants to be friend with me.

I wish I could elaborate more and more just how much this year is a blissful year for me but I’m afraid if I do it, I couldn’t post this blog post before 2017 so I’m just gonna make this short, simple and sweet. In just a year, I experienced a lot of things. My life turned into an actual roller coaster. I used to be that one of the bright kids in my school years. As I entered MJHEP, I realized that it is just really difficult to keep up the pace. Just no matter how hard I go, how much energy and effort I put to be the best among the best, I fail to be what I had used to be, the best kid. I lost it. I am no longer the best, I am no longer the outstanding kid. It seems like I lost my old self, the person I used to be. I was always anxious of my results, it is just never enough. I wondered why I couldn’t be the highest no matter how hard I struggled. I rarely fail or should I say I had never failed throughout my high school year. Haha, I just checked and I confirmed that I had never fail throughout my high school year. I did get the worst mark during my high school year but not to the point where I actually fail the subject. This year alone, I failed few times. In MJHEP, we have a Japanese confirmation test or we called it Kakunin Test. Kakunin test is divided into few sections:

Example:

Kanji	Vocab	Grammar	Listening	Reading	Total
75.9%	90.0%	67.3%	58.9%	83.6%	77.9%

Green: 90 and above

White: 89-70

Yellow: 69-60

Red: 59 and below

So far, I had experienced fail in all sections but not all at once. For example, there are times when I fail Kanji section. The other time I fail Vocab section. If I don’t fail vocab or Kanji, it will be either listening or reading that comes into the picture. It is very stressful when everything is being graded and colored. I hate red and yellow the most because other than it indicates your mark, it also indicates quiz(yellow) and also Kakunin test(red) in your timetable. When there is quiz on that period, it will be colored yellow in your timetable and the same thing goes to Kakunin Test.

Despite all this, I learnt a few valuable life lesson. Firstly, I learnt to understand the feeling of people who strive to their limits and they still could not achieve what they want. I had never really understand those feeling because before this, everything comes so easy to me. If I study, my result will be good. If I don’t, my result will be bad. Simple. But there’s more, I had learnt.  There are people who strive all out but still cannot get what they want and I am not alone struggling. Does that mean we have to just simply give up? The answer is no. I considered myself as a very spiritual person and I have become more spiritual due to this... incidents? moments? let's just go with life experience since it sounds much better. At least, that's what I thought so. I came to more believe that if I don’t get something although I had put my very best, that’s fine. It’s either [Lord wants me to strive more or He wants to replace something that is much better in return to something that I didn’t get or it is just simply better if I don’t get it.] There are things that we have really wanted but it is actually not good for us right? Once you have hold on to this tightly, you’ll be more at peace.There are things that are just simply beyond our power and strength. That is when God came into the picture. He gives and takes readily. I admit, it’s hard to hold on to these words, belief, whatever you called it. We are human no matter what. You’ll get sad, angry, and anxious if you fail to get something that you dearly want. Just don’t get too carried away. You are allowed to fail, you are allowed to feel sad, and you are allowed to break down once a while. Those will make you a better and tougher person in the future. Trust me. Experience is the best teacher.

Next thing that I have learnt is, it is okay to settle for less sometimes. Life is not just about what color you get on the result paper or how better you are than your friend in the test. It’s good to compete within friends because it keeps you motivated and energetic but everything that is too much is a poison that will poison you back eventually. Life is more than just getting good results, get a high-paid job and get a big cars, house,etc. Life is also about appreciating the nature, the people around you and finding peace within yourself. We only live once in this so called beautiful and yet corrupted world. Everything has its own good sides and bad sides. It’s just the way you see it. It’s either you want to see it as a bad thing or you take a good thing out of the bad thing. Everything happens for a reason. We live for reasons and we will die for reasons as well.

With that being said, I would like end my writing now. I wish to continue more because there’s a lot more thing that I have and want to say but I’m afraid if I get too carried away again which I actually did while writing this post.

2016,

Rest in peace.

Thank you for everything.

Bye.

Journey to Light Sensation 2016

Holla peeps!!
Today i'm in the mood of writing something so why not I share one of the events that I had recently went to which was Light Sensation 2016 at UPM. Not to forget, I just finished my final exam two days ago!!! Yeayy!! Currently, I'm on semester break which will only last for one week T_T and then continue with Special Program(SP) which will last for 3 weeks? 4 weeks? Somewhere along that range. Let's proceed with my journey to Light Sensation.

I finished my final exam paper at 12.30pm. After I submitted my last paper, I felt as if a burden that I had been carrying for quite a while had been put off for a while. I felt excited, joy and relief. Well, not literally because I could answer the questions. In fact, I actually screwed few papers of my final exam, but what is done is done. All you can do now is pray, pray and wish that miracles happen. I don't know about you but I believe in miracles. Around 3++pm, my other three friends and I rode Rapid KL(bus) to Metro Kajang. The journey was quite long but since that was the first time I went to Metro Kajang and the first time I went to Metro Kajang by bus so I didn't sleep at all in the bus. The place where I'm studying currently is quite far from the city but the facilities that are available, I could say 7 out of 10.

The bus stop somewhere near Metro Kajang but then, we still had to walk a bit to go there. We had our lunch... correction, my friend had her lunch there while I had cendol which for me was quite unsatisfying. *thumbs down* First, I think the price was quite expensive which was RM4.50. Then, they put too many brown sugars (I'm trying to be positive at first. I told myself "these people are being really generous putting A LOT of brown sugars on my Cendol." But then, I couldn't help but feeling like they just simply didn't do their jobs properly and didn't follow the measurements properly.) In the end, I didn't finish the Cendol which was quite a lot left uneaten AND I ordered CENDOL not ABC. We were a bit run out of time and I couldn't even drink my cendol properly because 90%  of the Cendol were ICE. Cendol supposed to be a water that you can sipped with straw okay not a bowl of ice!)

After we prayed at Metro Kajang, we walked to train station which was located quite far from Metro Kajang if you walk. Inside the KTM(train), I couldn't even sit because inside the KTM were pack as pack of sardines inside the tin. Not to forget, we rode the KTM after office hour which was around 5 something and the boarding school students also rode the KTM. After we rode off KTM at Serdang, we waited for a while for the bus. But then, we realized we didn't know which bus to ride and where to stop. Finally, we called for Uber and the Uber came shortly after we contacted him.(I recommended Uber).

Around 7pm, we arrived at the Light Sensation place. We prayed and ate there. As usual, the festival food were expensive although you can exactly have the same kind of food outside a lot cheaper. Next, we went to Love Zone. To be honest, that place is actually suitable to go with your love partners. The place were full with lights, lights and lights. I intended to ride ferris wheel but the ferris wheel were really small and could not have a lot of people riding it at once and simultaneously, there were long queue of people waiting. In the end, we proceeded to other places. The main thing of this event is the LED lights. They are trying to break the Guiness World Record with the most LED lights light up simultaneously and also for tourist attraction. Nothing much could be done there beside taking pictures and walk around enjoying the night scenery. Since the LED Lights were light up at the hills, I didn't miss the opportunity to lie down at one of the places and enjoyed watching the night skies. That was the best activity to do to relax your mind and also to appreciate the beauty of God's creations. Most of the activities that you want to do for example trying escape room needs to pay. Since we spent a lot of money on food, we thought that paying for extra to do those activities were quite unnecessary. The price to join the activities were also not cheap so we just watched those people who had payed enjoy the activities.

PHOTOS TAKEN AT LIGHT SENSATION 2016

My diary as MJHEP student

Good day internet community!

For today's post, I was inspired by my senpai(senior) to post a post as MJHEP student. Yes people, I finally admit that I am a MJHEP student after four months of being MJHEP students. What is MJHEP? MJHEP stands for Malaysia Japanese Higher Education Program where the students in this program are able to pursue diploma in Malaysia for 3 years in MJII(Malaysia Japanese Industrial Institute) and degree in Japan for 2 years. Of all the scholarships available, I could say that this is the best catch. Students in this program are able to learn engineering course in Japanese by Japanese lecturers while in Malaysia.Yes peeps, there are a lot of Japanese teacher(日本人先生) here. There are also local lecturers that teach us and most of them can speak Japanese（日本語).This program started under the Look East Policy inspired by the former Prime Minister of Malaysia, Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamed in 1983. This program has already existed even when I wasn't born yet. Currently, I am the 16th batch of this program. So, it wasn't a surprise when I said that most of the local lecturers here are my senpai（先輩). Ha.Ha. That's a good part actually because they had gone through the exact same process like us especially the struggles (T_T) so I can say they understand us at least somehow? Currently, I am in Matric year. For those who think that SPM is the hardest thing in the world, you should think twice.. nope thrice because there are a lot of other things that are much harder than SPM. 

Back then, I thought SPM was the hardest thing ever and once I finished my SPM, I had assumed that my life has already completed. I thought I was going to have a happily ever after ending which I did for a while. I had the longest holiday ever as much as I could remember which was 5 months. 5 months was a really long period people. A. Reaaaaalllyyyyyy long period. I felt like it was endless and I got reeaallllyyyy bored. So, when I got into this program, I was extremely happy because my jobless,endless,missionless phase has already ended. "Yeay, a new phase, a new chapter." That was what mingled around my head after I got the news which only lasted for at most one week. 

For me personally, life as a university student especially as MJHEP student is a lot harder and busier than SPM student generally. We have a lot of homeworks（宿題）need to be done by 8.15am tomorrow (eligible only for Japanese language). We have every two week Kakunin Test, almost everyday word(言葉) quizzes, 3 times a week Kanji(かんじ）quizzes and not to forget other test that are conducted often as well. Below is my daily routine(weekdays) as MJHEP student.

6.30am

-wake up

-Pray

-sleep back

*Sleep back is not a good move AT ALL so please don't copy me. Instead, you can use that free time to do revision, memorize kanji, Japanese word, do homework, etc. I tried and I failed countlessly because I am too tired and the bed looks so inviting and comfortable. 

7.30am

-wake up for the 2nd time

-take bath

-Ready for the day

8.20am-1.15pm

-class

1.15pm-2.10pm

-lunch break
-pray

2.15pm-5.10pm

-class

5.10pm~5.30pm

-pray, rest

~5.30pm

-homework

~7.30pm~9.00pm

-pray

-Food for soul

~9.00pm~the earliest 12.30++am

-Homework

-revision(memorize kanji, word,etc)                                                   (~ = around that time)

*And sometimes some late night chit chat, night break, nap, eat, etc. 

My daily life routine may vary from other students but that is basically how my days as MJHEP student pass by. 

One lesson learn that I have learnt while in this program is, you need to make a huge sacrifice to get a better result. Life is always like that. We win some, we lose some. We can't have everything right? Imagine if we every single thing that we want in this world, don't you think that it would make our life dull and bored? Life becomes exciting when we have something to pursue and to reach to. Like my mom once said "it's not so much of the victory but the journey and the process towards achieving the victory is more memorable". I quoted, you interpret it. It's up to you to interpret any way that you want. The understanding is fully yours.

P/S I am still struggling as a student so let's struggle together! :))

The Worst Week(so far)

* Since i'm really in the mood of posting and blogging so I'm gonna share my one of weekly journals. So....enjoy?

THE WORST WEEK

   This week was my very first Kakunin Test which also known as Japanese Test which consist of reading, listening, writing and reading Kanji and Japanese vocab. Although it was only a test and not a midyear or final exam, these every two weeks tests will contribute about 20% of your final semester mark. Since this was my first Kakunin Test ever and the covered topics were bearable enough, I had decided to give it the best shot. I studied few days earlier for the test and the test was conducted on Wednesday of this week.

   I sat for the test with the palpitating heart. The test was going on smoothly until the last paper which was reading paper. I answered every questions carefully and wrote the answers on the given paper. I was bundled with joy as I got to answer every questions and couldn’t wait for the test to finish. The waiting didn’t last long and in the end, the lecturer announced that the test had finished and we had to put down our pencils. While she was collecting test papers, I sensed something was amiss. I realized that from the beginning of answering the questions and writing the answers, I was writing them on the worksheet! And the best part was my answer sheet which needed to be submit was clean and empty. Without wasting much time, I put up my hand to inform the lecturer about my unfortunate situation that I was in.

   To be honest, she reminded us three times before about it where you were supposed to write the answers on the answer sheets and not the worksheets. She came to me and took my paper away. So basically, I sent an empty paper to the lecturer. After the class finished, I took my hand phone from the bag and rushed up to the toilet. I attempted to call my dad only to realize that my prepaid had come to an expiry date and I couldn’t make a phone call unless I top up my prepaid. In the end, I washed up my face and went back to the class with puffy eyes and teary nose. The Japanese class went on as usual after the Kakunin Test and I was late for the class. It was only around 10 am on that time and there were about 7 hours to go before I finished the class for the day. I thought I couldn’t pull through the day but somehow I managed to. I believed that if God puts me on a trial, I knew He was planning to give me something better.

   I didn’t know if what my lecturer had done was the best from other people perspectives but from my perspectives, my lecturer had done her best. I got 0 for the first time in my life. The total mark was 25 and I lost all that 25 marks. My ranked on that section was 149/149 which was the lowest in my batch. This was also the first time in my life where the lowest rank was mine. It was a huge lost isn’t it? One thing about life is, once the moment is gone, it is gone forever. You can never rewind time because if you did, life won’t be as interesting as it is now anymore. Regrets? Yes and also no. Since the answer could only be one, my answer would be no. It was something that is meant to happen and it did happened. There are things that are beyond of your controls. You can plan and have a grand plan but in the end, it wasn’t you who decide whether the plan is going as it is or not. You can only plan but God will have the final say.

   Why didn’t I regretted? Well, I didn’t regret much because I got to learn a new life lesson. Although it came to me a bit pricey but it was worth it. I got to learn how to deal with failures and what it felt like being failed. I failed sometimes but I guess this was yet the worst as of now. In life, you will experience failing countless times until at your breaking point. This was only a beginning for me and more to come. Learn from the mistakes because without making mistakes, life would be dull and bored. Just because I said I didn’t regret that doesn’t mean I wasn’t in grief at all. In fact, I did mourned for the loss of that precious 25 marks but life has to continue on so I did. 

Being myself

I struggled to feel the sense of belonging. I was different from people around me. I am used to be a person who doesn't belong to any group. I am comfortable to be diverse, universal and free spirit. People around me most of them where otherwise. Not everyone is brave and daring, right? I am reaching 18 and I believe in mature age. I wish to embrace myself and stand up for myself. I wish to love myself more after I love my parents. And I wish to be proud of my weirdness and stop to listen of what people might have remarks on me. At the very end, I live my life and they live theirs. I want to live my life the way I wanted it to be and stop making others as my benchmark. Yes, life is a never ending competition. But, I wish to compete with my own way. Expectations are precious and also could be burdens sometimes. Those never ending expectations could consume you in some unique ways and turn you into something that you don't want to be. So beware of them. You may ask, does it really important to be yourself? For me yes. There are too many fake things in this world and we fake ourselves often according to place, people we hang out with, etc. So being your real self in front of others is precious. Precious is equals to important. If something is not important, then it is not precious. If something is not precious, then it is not important. 

P/S I wrote too much without any proper draft and I think my current post is turning into something else so I'm gonna post-off now. Bye.

New Chapter

I have just realized that I haven't post anything on this blog for quite sometime. Not that I don't want to blog or anything but I have to think twice and thrice for the effects that come after I post anything on the internet. We don't really live in a free world though. I don't know if there are real people who are reading my blog but.. I'm still gonna blog because I feel like to. So today, I'm gonna post something a bit different from my previous posts. I don't how different it will be but I just simply feel like it will be different. I like the word "different" and "weird"because it just simply describe what kind of person I am. So... without further do, let's proceed to our very first post of the year \^o^/

NEW CHAPTER

I have opened a new chapter in my life which is university life. I left the school life with pretty much open heart. Back then, I was eager to end that chapter. School wasn't suck at all for me but I just simply couldn't wait for it to end. I was influenced by certain unverified sources that said university life is much much better than what school life could offer. Funny. And it turned out not really well. I began my new chapter around 6 weeks ago. On that sunny day, after I had attended a dreadful scholarship interview, I received a call from another scholarship provider. They told me that I got their scholarship and I had to verified the offer on the spot. I accepted the offer in a heartbeat and started my university life two days later. Everything was so sudden that I had this feeling I didn't have a good ending for my previous chapter of life. Unlike anyone who likes a long, unlimited holiday, I prefer an organised timetable everyday. It gives me reason why I pursue my life everyday. A week holiday is OK. A two week holiday is superb. A three week of holiday is a bless. A six months of holiday is disaster. So yeah, what I can conclude here is less is more.

I didn't really had a good opening chapter of a new chapter. I was a second intake student and I was the only one from my school who received the scholarship. Everything was new to me when I entered here. I struggled to make new friends and the ability to adapt with this new environment. That was the saddest part as a loner like me. I did try to make a conversation with them, but to be honest everything was just too awkward. I enrolled here during 4th day of orientation week. They had been divided into their consecutive orientation group. I didn't how the groups are divided into so I tried to apply to other students that I'm interested to join their group. And the responds were quite cliche but straightforward. "I don't know if you could join this group" and "we have enough people in our group" and "You should ask the seniors". That particular moment, I literally felt like an alien from the other side of the world. Then, I asked one of the seniors what orientation group I should be in and she told me I could join which ever groups I wanted. Cut the story short, I eventually got a group to join in. I wasn't having a great time at all during orientation at all unlike other students. My group members were "nice" enough that I felt as if I was being ignored. I didn't really mind though because at least I had a group to join in or otherwise I'll be really in a lonely planet. The orientation week ended with scrumptious dinner which was my most favourite part of the week.

My real new chapter began when I started my very first class as a university student. I had a hectic weekdays every week with everyday homework which need to be submitted before 8.15am on the next day. To be honest, I wasn't expecting those would be coming. Like what my mom always said to me I always had an unreal expectation of things, I did. Serve me right. In here, I have to learn a new language which is Japanese. I had always love new languages as I find them a beautiful thing but.. there's always a but isn't it? Japanese language is fun to learn but I struggled to remember the grammars, the pattern of the sentence, the always changing particles and so on. It was okay so far despite the struggles that I have to face every single day. Struggles make you stronger and sturdy isn't it? I miss my parents, my old acquaintances, my school, my breakfast partner, my diverse classmates, my room, my previous life and my lil brother. I don't say this very often because what is past is gone forever. Time can't be rewind so do age. I'm aging as the second ticks although i'm only 17 turning 18. I could feel the aging is REAL.

To those who struggle to cope with new life like me, don't worry love, you are not alone. Just don't give up and face life an open heart. Life is not a smooth ride and will never be. You will face the ups and downs of life often. Every challenge that comes to you is bearable until you said otherwise. Best of luck everyone! Ganbarimashou!