I fall in love easily and I fall out of love easily as easy as switching on the light.
Yup, that's me and let me tell you how it really feels like. It sucks. It sucks to the extend that you started to hate yourself and you feel like you don't deserve the love itself. I considered myself as a pro one-sided love consultant, well not so but I've been getting that ever since I started to remember so yeah. Maybe luck of love simply not , never on my side that up until now everything is just a sided crush. Is it my fault? Well, probably is considering that I'm chubby and I don't dress too well... and let's not forget for the fact that I wear zero make up although my face look so pale as if I'm sick simply because I'm lazy. I'm super super lazy and probably lazier than you. Y know when I was in primary school, during Parent teacher meeting(PTM), my classroom teacher literally told my mom that i was sloppy but I got the brain. I don't properly do my scarf.. well up until now I still don't do it properly and probably my clothes aren't perfectly ironed too. I iron my cloth but not so perfect because the reason why I iron my cloth is because I don't want to look as if I just got out of the bed. Simply that and most of the time I avoid myself from wearing clothes that need to be ironed. Anyways, where were we just now? Oh yes, about me being a pro one-sided love consultant. All I got to say is keep yourself protected.
"Once bitten twice shy. Thrice bitten better die"
-unknown
My uncountable one-sided love story is mainly tragic, I think but that's okay. Time heals surely.
I cried, I feel angry, I feel anxious, I feel like there is no way out, I feel like my world is going to crumble, at one point I feel so worthless, etc, etc. You are basically not alone my dear. We simply fall in love faster than we are supposed to. Maybe.
Things that I have learnt after getting disappointed with one-sided love are
1. If you are not sure of the status of that person in your life, don't pursue. If you are indecisive whether they can mean something in your life or not, just don't pursue. Unless you are 70% sure that they feel the same way as you feel, then pursue. If not, just don't.
2. If you are in a conversation and the conversation keeps going and your feelings grow bigger but you are unsure of your chatting partner's feeling, then you better stop the convo first. You don't want them to get tired of you, do you? Sooner or later someone would have to end the convo. You don't want to look desperate although you already are so just stop replying if it's a dead end or statement message that don't necessarily need a reply.
3. If the feeling has already bloom and you just feel at lost as you know you'll never be their favourites, all you can do is forget them. You can cry, delete their messages, delete their photos and probably confront them(only if you have the courage. Not really advisable tho).
You are much worth than your crush dear. You are allowed to feel down, be super sad, be super angry.. but the most important part is you need to learn on how to let go and move on. Clinging onto your crush in a hope that your crush would like you back, well most of the time it didn't happen. It just simply didn't happen, my dear. You just gotta deal with that.Life isn't always circling about you unfortunately. Sorry to say that but that's about it.
Gonna share something else with you guys soon. Maybe.
Love,
JINN
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