The voice of the heart

What am I?
What am I doing now?
What do I want?
What is there to look for?
I'm reflecting in silence,
Hoping for answers that remain unknown,
Searching for hope that never comes.

I told myself endlessly ,
That there is something to look forward to in this finite space,
That there is something to see and feel in this limited expansion,
That it is going to be worth it to chase for.

Truth to be told,
I myself have no idea.

Back then,
I was determined of practically everything,
Determined to be the best,
Determined to be what they called role model,
Determined to be the person that people envy.

And yes,
Those days were harsh and yet fulfilling.
The pain of struggles,
I would say fillers to holes inside me which turn into poisonous venom eventually.

Reason?
Some things just don't need reason to occur.
Some things are best left unanswered,
Best to be unknown,
Because if you know,
Everything is not as it seems.

JINN