Life update(probably)

Hello peeps!

This week is quite relaxing I would say. I have less quizzes compared to previous week, I got a class cancelled which is today and at night(this week) I could free some of my time to do what I like to do. Before this, I'd never knew that by doing things that you like to do could actually put your mind at ease and could actually make you happy. I spent most of my free time watching YouTube simply just occupy the time.

At first I was happy because I could watch Youtubers that I like and I could diverge my mind to think of something else besides studying. After quite sometime and after watching too many YouTube videos, i realized that I'm not really happy. I become more stress as I felt like I have been wasting my time by watching too many Youtube videos. Yes, by watching your favourite Youtuber is thrilling and exciting but that instant feeling doesn't last long. My days are spent mainly with studying and watching YouTube or drama or movie. It's either or and there is no in between. I don't have hobbies and to be honest I'd never really sit down and think what I actually want to do in life or what I actually like to do.

I write blog simply because there are too many things that I want to say but I couldn't. As easy to say writing is my escapism. I started writing since I was a kid. To be exact after I knew what Diary actually meant. I have more than 5 diaries up until now. When things are tough and hard to bear, i write. Just like what I am doing now. I read back what i wrote from time to time as a mood reliever and also as a reminder. As i read back my previous writing, it reminds me that  I had been in a situation where everything is too much to bear but I survived. I survived the tides but life is nothing but a repetition of cycle. Hence, tides come from time to time and the only thing that is left to do is to hang on. Hang on till the day God summon you permanently.

At one point, I asked myself what do you actually want in this life? What is your aim? I asked myself if it is okay to just live but deep inside I know I don't like to settle for less. I believe that i only live once and every second that ticks even now is precious. As second ticks someone dies. As second ticks someone is born. Life is more than just simply trying to survive. Yes, survivability is important but when you realized that you can actually do more than just surviving, don't you think that it's just a waste to actually live your life mundanely? Some people might disagree with me but I am entitled to my own opinion so let me be. Your opinion is highly appreciated but not needed. Thank you.

There are things that I have been continuously doing unconsciously and that is writing. I love to share new things with people and I love to share my writing. I speak well but I write better, i guess. I write to be heard although most of the time my writing doesn't reach the person that I'm specifically referring to but that's okay. I'm happy enough that I'm actually able to write it out.

I started to write in Japanese this week and I found out that I have passion for blogging. I like to write in English honestly because it is easier to express myself but I am learning Japanese as well. I want to improve my Japanese through blogging or vlogging just what I did to improve my English. That's all from me today I guess. Since I have started writing in Japanese I'll probably write lesser in English but English will always be my language of expressing myself. I'll write from time to time and if there's anyone who actually reads my English blog earnestly, thank you. I really appreciate your endless support and thank you for supporting me. If you actually read till here, please say hi to me. I'll be waiting for your reply. Thank you everyone and have a nice day. God bless.

JINN